Suicide Squad: Movie Review

Suicide_Squad_(film)_Poster

Movie: Suicide Squad.

Director: David Ayer

Studio: Warner Bros / DC Comics

Release Date: 11. August. 2016 (DK)

Rating: 0.4/5 Stars.

Actual Movie Name:  Justice League: Villain’s forming a squad and committing suicide to save the world.

Well, I was wrong, DC actually managed to make a movie worst than Batman v Superman.

Meh.

This was my reaction after seeing this movie. I had such high hopes, but I should have known that after that awful disaster that was Batman v. Superman, that DC was on a fast track to suicide-town (pun-intended).

The Joker: What? Oh, I’m not gonna kill you. I’m just gonna hurt you. Really, really bad.

Well, Mr. Joker you succeeded, this movie hurt me really, really bad!

After this movie ended I left the cinema so fast that I forgot they had mid/end credit scenes. I just couldn’t wait to get away.

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. At this point I’d like to take the opportunity to send my future self a warning:

Dear Melody,

I am you from the past, and I’d like to tell you to never ever ever trust anything that DC sells you. Yes, I know that the Justice League trailer looks awesome and you probably even already bought pre-sale tickets to see Wonder Woman, but be warned girl, because the only thing the DC Studio knows how to do best is disappoint and ruin great characters. If you are still having doubts let me give you 10 reasons why you shouldn’t trust their punk-ass:

#1: They turned Superman into a murderer in Man of Steel.

#2: They made Superman a sad dull character in Batman v. Superman. He was like a prop from the Walking Dead set. ‘Don’t mind me, I’m just gonna hang aimless around here in my awesome cope.’ Blah!

#3: And then they killed him off. Yeah, they killed Superman.

#4: Oh, and they ridicule him as well, by having some guy in an iron suit beat the crap out of him until he was begging him to save his mother.

#5: Freaking Martha! Gawd!

#6: Suicide Squad was worst than Batman v. Superman. Yeah, can you believe that?

#7: The new Joker is a giant joke, and just pathetic.

#8: They no longer know how to make a movie with a plot. Suicide squad being the very first reason.

#9: Don’t trust freaking Zack Snyder, that guy is a fan killer, he ruins all your childhood heroes with a single, ‘action & cut’.

#10: Zack Snyder is directing Justice League. Thank you very much DC!

And there you have it girl, don’t you dare ever ever trust them!

Thank you future self, I’ll take your words to heart.

This movie was a huge disappointment, and that’s not to say it didn’t try to prove otherwise.

First of all, it wasn’t all bad, as a better of fact, there were a few things that I actually liked about it.

1. Cara Delevingne, as Enchantress was an interesting character. She surprised me, and that was a good thing. Another character that surprised me was El Diablo in his final battle. I also enjoyed a few of the funny lines that Will Smith spat out. Only a few, like 3 of them.

2. Batman punching Quinn, hahaha I wished I could punch whoever gave the green light for David Aye to make this sad excuse of a movie.

And those were all the things I liked about this movie. Actually like is a strong word. It’s more like all the things, I was okay with. Yeah, the things I was okay with.

Now, let’s get to why I gave this highly anticipated movie the  rating I did.

The JOKER: I’m laughing as I write this. Are you kidding me? What the hell was that? I went in there expecting him to be awesome, you know, throwing joking cards left and right like the psycho maniac we all Hate to LOVE, but instead we got a love sick Joker.

No. No. Stop it! Stop it!

He was in the movie for like five seconds, and he spent that time just being anything but the Joker. He was in love, so all he did in this movie was to help the woman he loves. Yeah, there was no point in having him in this movie, because everything he did, didn’t amount to anything. He was just, there, just being whatever.

Hello, I’m the Joker and in Suicide Squad I could be replace by a house-plant and it still wouldn’t make any difference, because me being in the movie didn’t amount to anything, and didn’t add to the plot. I was a place holder.

Jared’s acting didn’t impress me, I felt like it was over the top, or was it not enough? There was something missing, and I didn’t like it. The Joker we got in this movie was just… No! I don’t even know what the hell that was, whatever it was, it wasn’t the Joker.

And those cheesy lines and mobster attitude had me screaming internally like: please make it stop!

Simply put: The Joker was a joke.

4. Too many EYE rolling moment. I mean, this is a goddamn team of super villains, who I expect to do some diabolical things; instead they let their emotion lead them to superheroville. If I wanted to watch a superhero movie I’d re-watched the thousands that are out there. I was rolling my eyes more times than I like to admit.

Deadshot just kept letting some random guy with a smartphone boss him around. I mean seriously, you are freaking Deadshot! You never miss… you can shoot that phone out of his hand in seconds, heck, take his hand along, I’d applaud you. Eye rolling… eye rolling everywhere. And then they went from strangers to friends like in two seconds flat. Hello, you are super villains, meanest of the meanest. Gwrdddd.

5. The Plot: Hahaha. Oh man, this was just wrong. Hahahaha.

So yeah, in a world where they have The Flash, Batman… the goddamn Justice League, they send in a bunch of people, one who just stands there and complain about this past, one with a baseball bat, and some military guy with a smartphone to save the world from a very old and powerful witch. Hmm… hello? Is anyone there?

This plot made absolutely no sense. And don’t get me started on El Diablo letting his feelings, and ‘friends’ lead him to make the ultimate sacrifice. Villain my arse!

Rick Flagg: This is the deal: You disobey me, you die. You try to escape, you die. You irritate or vex me… and guess what? You die.

Unfortunately, I did all those thing and I’m still alive. I tried to  forgot I ever saw this movie, went to therapy to help me forget it, tried to have it surgically remove from my memories, but nothing helps, I can still remember it. How sad!

6. Too many puns and un.funny jokes. Boohoo. 80% of the movie’s over the top dialogue. Cheesy, and just annoying.

At this point I don’t even want to continue this review. This movie was a superhero movie in disguise, there was nothing villainy about it, heck I was just about ready to accept Batman showing up and being like: ‘good work guys, you are Justice League 2.0.’

This movie was a huge waste of my time and my money. I felt super let down. If this is what it takes to be the worst heroes ever, then I am the worst. This movie was just sad, a sad excuse for a super-villain movie.

Rating: 0.4 suicide stars =  This movie is the apocalypse, the devil itself, do not touch it!

Blah!

Mel out.

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